Healing from Overfunctioning can be a lonely and confusing experience.
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You don't feel like your well-meaning friends and family really "get" what you're going through.
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You'd love to hear how other women are dealing with their Underfunctioning Partner's nonsense.
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You could really use some support when the guilt, confusion, and loneliness feel overwhelming.
You wish there was a place where you could connect with other women who are going through this same mess...
Welcome to
The Self-Restoration Community is where Overfunctioning Women gather to feel seen, supported, held, guided ~ and connected ~ as they journey through the choppy waters of stepping back from Overfunctioning.
The Community is facilitated by Dr. Ashley Southard, a Self-Restoring Woman who was once an Overfunctioning Woman herself.
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After spending over two decades in a one-sided love relationship, I finally realized that doing more for them and the relationship was getting me nowhere fast. So, I started doing more for ME, and gave them the space to decide if they wanted to step up and match me in effort, or keep Underfunctioning and let it all fall apart.
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Spoiler alert: it all fell apart.
But, that breakdown became my biggest breakthrough ~ for it was in this darkness that I reconnected with the light of my courage, my clarity, and my self-respect.
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I began to GLOW with Self-Restoration.
Now, I am here to hold a safe space for all of the Overfunctioning Women out there who are learning how to shine their own light, as they face some of the darkest decisions, emotions, and uncertain futures.
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And it is in this safe space where women hold the lanterns for each other, offering validation, encouragement, empathy, and resources.
As a member, you get 24/7 access to
So. Much. Goodness.
This is a self-paced community, so you can engage as much or as little as you want. There is no “falling behind."
This Community is for YOU if you are...
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Married, separated, divorced, single, dating ~ all relationship statuses are welcome here
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Quietly suffering while holding it all together for the kids, your job, and the relationship
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Agonizing over whether to stay or leave your relationship
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Wanting to stay together or not wanting to stay together ~ we honor whatever choice is right for you
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Questioning if you're asking for too much and wondering if maybe you're the problem and you're just not seeing something
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Brand new or far along in your Self-Restoration journey ~ because personal growth is lifelong, there is something for everyone inside the community
...wherever you are in your journey, you are welcome here.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can men and/or Underfunctioning Partners join this group?
No. This is a private membership community for individuals who self-identify as women and who are actively working on healing from Overfunctioning. Those who violate this guideline will be immediately removed without a refund.
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How does membership work?
It's month-to-month, so no long-term commitments or contracts. You get immediate access to everything right away. You can easily cancel on your own anytime before your next billing cycle.
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Do I have to use my real name?
No, but it's preferred to support emotional safety and transparency in the community. If you are concerned about your privacy, simply register with your initials or a pseudonym (or change your name once you have created your account). You can share as much or as little information about yourself as you want.
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Is this Community a Facebook group?
No. This Community is hosted on the platform, Circle, which has no connection with any social media. This means that your social media "friends" and "followers" will not see that you are a member.
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Do I have to be on-camera if I attend the live events?
No. You can join the live events and opt to turn your camera off. Having said that, safety in the community is amplified when women fully engage with each other ~ one way to do this is to turn your camera on and allow yourself to be seen. While it may be uncomfortable at first, you may be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels to connect deeper with other women in that way.
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Is this Community like group therapy?
No. While Dr. Ashley is a licensed therapist, this group is an educational and community support space only. Dr. Ashley is not practicing as a therapist, and this community is not intended to be a substitute for therapy or any other form of professional mental health support. Also, membership in this community does not constitute a therapist-client relationship with Dr. Ashley.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or emergency and need immediate assistance, please call 911, visit your nearest emergency room, or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255.
The Culture of this Community
The Self-Restoration Community is a sanctuary for women to "do the work" to heal from Overfunctioning.
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It is a space where women come together to self-reflect, take responsibility for their personal growth and healing, and support each other to make courageous moves. It is a space filled with clarity, validation, encouragement, truth, and hope!
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Towards this end, the Community is not a space to complain about or berate partners, stay stuck in hopelessness or victimhood, or tell other women what they should do.
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Here, we do not ask, “How do I get them to change?”
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Rather, we ask, "What can I change within me so that I stop abandoning myself?"
Together, we choose a new way forward, rooted in clarity, courage, and self-respect.
Being a part of this sacred Community isn’t just a membership...it’s a movement, a sisterhood, a lifeline.
You don't have to journey this season of life alone...
We all know women are so powerful when we stick together. But how many of us have female friends who really GET what it's like to be caught in Overfunctioning with an Underfunctioning Partner?
This is why The Self-Restoration Community is SO special. It's a safe space filled with women who get it. Women who know this hell. Women who are done trying to raise an adult. Women who are in the "dark night of the soul," trying to find their way through one of the hardest things they've ever been through.
...if you think my Instagram community is amazing, JUST WAIT until you see the magic inside this private community.
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(Don't follow me on IG yet? Get a feel for my community at @drashleysouthard)