You've tried everything you can think of to get your relationship on track.
And you're completely exhausted. Because the more you do, the more nothing changes. The harder you try, the harder the relationship feels. You simply can't keep managing, anticipating, fixing, reminding, worrying, and trying to hold your relationship together like you have been, while your Underfunctioning Partner keeps skating by.
It's time to learn a different way...
Welcome to The Stepping Back Experience
If you've been following my work for a while, chances are you have a pretty good sense of some of the ways you Overfunction. And you've probably gotten pretty good at recognizing your partner's Underfunctioning, too.
But if you're like so many of the Overfunctioning Women I work with, you know that this dynamic isn't working. But you don't know what to do to change it.
And even when you hear me say, "You've gotta step back from Overfunctioning," you think, "But HOW?!? How exactly do I step back when I have a whole life built with this person?"
That's exactly why I created The 30-Day Stepping Back Experience. Because I wanted Overfunctioning Women just like you to be able to start this journey with the guidance and support of someone who's been there and can now hold the lantern for you as you navigate the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of this process.
This Experience transforms knowing what to do into knowing how to do it ~ and gives you 30 days of opportunities to practice.
The Stepping Back Experience gives you a simple, step-by-step path to help you
become a Self-Restored Woman
Each day provides a small, but mighty, step that builds on the previous day. None of the steps require more time or energy from you ~ instead, you'll be asked to observe, slow down, and do less.
Here's what your 30-day journey will include:
What does a day in the Experience look like?
Your daily Stepping Back practice is incredibly simple.
☀️ MORNING
Open your daily email and click into that day's lesson. Each lesson takes just a few minutes to read.
💞 DURING YOUR DAY
Try the small Stepping Back practice as you go about your normal life. No homework. No extra hour carved out of your day. Just less Overfunctioning.
🌙 EVENING
Come back to your email and complete your Evening Check-In. It's designed to take less than 60 seconds.
That's it. One email. One small practice. One 60-second check-in. For 30 days.
No videos to watch. No hour-long modules. No trying to find time for another thing on your already-full plate.
Because just like Self-Restoration, sometimes less really is more. 🔥
The Stepping Back Experience is for YOU if...
✓ You're in a relationship with an Underfunctioning Partner and you want to start changing how you show up, regardless of what they do or don't do.
✓ You're getting out of a relationship with an Underfunctioning Partner and you want to ensure you break free from this dynamic once and for all.
✓ You worry that things will fall apart if you stop managing, reminding, preventing, fixing, or smoothing things over.
✓ You feel guilty anytime you prioritize yourself, especially if that means your partner is disappointed or goes without in some way.
✓ Your partner's frustration, disappointment, or pushback can quickly pull you back into Overfunctioning.
Hi, I'm Dr. Ashley
I spent nearly 20 years Overfunctioning in Love. I naively thought that doing more for my partner would make things better. I hoped it would inspire them to do more. I thought it would get them to see how much I was suffering.
But the more I tried, the worse I felt. After developing a severe autoimmune disorder and watching my love slowly morph into rage and loneliness, I knew something had to change.
So, I started looking at my own patterns of Overfunctioning. And I started playing with a totally different approach ~ what would happen if I stopped doing so much for my partner? Little did I know I was about to stumble upon the self-respecting solution that would reveal the truth of my relationship.
As I started Stepping Back from Overfunctioning and giving my partner more opportunities to be responsible for themselves, I was able to see how they chose to show up for me and our relationship when I wasn't compensating for their Underfunctioning choices and actions.
I'm not going to lie ~ it was scary at the beginning. My mind raced with what-if scenarios of all the things that could go wrong if I didn't Overfunction. I feared how this would change our relationship, and if it would affect our child. But deep down I knew this change was necessary.
Stepping Back proved to be the ultimate truth-teller. It revealed the reality of my relationship dynamic when I was no longer compensating for another adult. And with that clarity, I developed the courage to make self-respecting moves that supported the Self-Restored Woman I was becoming.
The 30-Day Stepping Back Experience was born out of this pain. I took my lived experience as a once Overfunctioning Woman, combined it with my 20+ years of clinical experience as a relationship therapist, and created a program that I wish I had back then. And because I've walked this journey as a wife and a mom, I know how scary and overwhelming it can feel. That's why this Experience is not just about what to do, but it teaches you how to do it in a way that feels respectful of your personal timeline, needs, and goals.
I can't wait to walk this journey with you.
What Women Say About This Work
"But what if my partner doesn't step up?"
Dr. Ashley, if my partner doesn't step up, am I just supposed to let our life fall apart?!?
This is probably the first question I get when I'm working with an Overfunctioning Woman on stepping back. And it's a good one.
Stepping Back is not about letting your life fall apart. It's about slowly and intentionally giving back to your partner the responsibility and accountability that they as a fully capable adult and partner should be carrying for themselves.
When you do this, you will be able to see more clearly how your partner chooses to show up when you're no longer compensating for them. Some areas of life may shift or fall apart, and some may not. But because you are doing this slowly and intentionally, you have the ability to decide if/how you want to respond to these changes,
This Experience teaches you exactly how to Step Back slowly and intentionally.
"But what about the kids?"
Dr. Ashley, I can't just step back and let my kids' needs go unmet.
This is probably the second most common question I get when I'm working with an Overfunctioning Woman on stepping back. And it's a valid concern.
Stepping Back is not more important than your children's safety and well-being. The Experience will not encourage you to step back in ways that put your kids at risk, or that go against your values as a Mom. Instead, you'll be encouraged to step back in ways that only affect your partner, or that have mild and temporary effects on you or the kids. You will get to choose exactly how you step back in ways that work for your family.
Experience FAQs
What if I don't have a lot of time?
The Stepping Back Experience is designed to be small, but mighty. I know you're a busy woman, which is why each day is designed to be something you can read in just a few minutes while drinking your morning coffee or sitting in the school drop-off line (and there are no noisy videos for your partner or kids to overhear). You will then be invited to consider a change in how you think or behave throughout your day, which won't take up any extra time. At the end of the day, you'll complete a short check-in that will take you no more than 60 seconds. So, the Experience only asks for a few intentional minutes of your day while helping you begin changing how you show up in love.
What if I miss one of the lessons?
That's totally fine. While the content is broken up into 30 days and released one day at a time, you can slow down and do each lesson at your own pace. You get unlimited access for the lifetime of the program, so you can slow down and speed up however you want. I promise, you'll never "fall behind."
How long will the Experience be available?
You'll get unlimited access to the Experience for the lifetime of the program.
What if I sign up for the LIVE Experience and can't make one or both of the Zoom Integration Calls?
No problem. The calls will be recorded and you'll be able to watch them whenever you want.
Do I have to be on-camera if I attend the LIVE Integration Calls over Zoom?
Nope. You can join the live events and opt to turn your camera off. You can also use a pseudonym on the Zoom call if you're concerned about privacy.
The moment you enroll...
You will receive an email inviting you to create your Thinkific account (where the Experience is housed).
Once inside your account, you will have instant access to the Introduction, Companion Guide PDF, and pre-Experience writing exercise.
The 30-Day Experience officially begins on Sunday, September 27. You'll receive an email that morning with a link to the Day 1 content. Daily content will be released every 24 hours thereafter, and you'll receive a brief email each morning with a link to log in to that day's content.
After 30 days, when the Experience completes on Monday, October 26, you will have full access to all of the materials. You can revisit them anytime you want a refresher.
If you enroll in the upgraded LIVE Experience, you'll also be invited to join us for two Integration Calls over Zoom. These calls will be held on Sunday, October 11 and Sunday, November 1.
More gratitude for this work 🫶
Special VIP Rate for Community Members
If you are a current member of The Self-Restoration Community, you get a special VIP price of just $49 for The 30-Day Stepping Back Experience + LIVE. That's a $50 savings. It's my way of saying 'THANK YOU' for being here. Use the coupon code inside the Community when registering for the Experience.
This is the Only LIVE Edition 💞
When registration closes on Saturday, September 26, the LIVE Edition closes with it. I don't have plans to offer another live cohort in the foreseeable future.
The Stepping Back Experience will continue to be available to anyone anytime, but only as the self-paced edition.
So, if you've been thinking, "I want to do this ~ and I want Dr. Ashley there with me," then this is your opportunity. Enroll in the $99 Experience + LIVE Integration Calls today!
